As the miles mounted behind us like memories upon a forgetful mind, I began to relax from the experience of the day. The guilt that I felt toward Doyle and Lynn was lessened as I determined immediately that I would make up the irresponsible action to them somehow. I thought of a day away from home spent fishing with just the three of us. Far away from the blackened, weeping eyes of the sorry souls that were marked for damnation and miles from the caverns beneath the monastery that most likely held further delusions of terror and evil. My thoughts were interrupted by Reverend Malcolm as he traced his curling hair with the palm of his hand, clearing away the perspiration that had begun upon his temples.
Lynn’s voice split the darkness and echoed through the trees of our yard before lowering to pierce my heart. I argued not with her but stared instead at Doyle’s blackened sockets as he stood fearful behind his mother, her arm draped across his shoulder while the stench of evil consumed them making them impossible to see. I backed out of the room as a man shot in the stomach, the tears streaming down my face and dropping down upon my collar. They looked at me as if they did not know me; as a stranger to my family and again I felt removed at my own hand. I ran down the hall and into the garage taking Lynn’s keys to her Explorer on my way. I started the vehicle, pushing the tears to the side of my face and I exited the driveway. The night swallowed me whole as a shark might a small fish not considering the fish, but protecting its own existence.
“So, what did Elder Lewis teach you, Mr. Abel?”
“I really just want to forget about it and get home to my family, if you know what I mean.”
“Well, no offense but I had an opportunity to learn about Tonder but my teachings were cut short. I am still very curious and hoped that perhaps you could help me fill in the missing pieces, so to speak.”
“Preacher, let me tell you about missing pieces. Take a fifteen year old boy out of his summer vacation and put him in front of the devil. Kill it and put it in a cage and let it haunt him in his adult life. Then don’t even talk about it even though he has a million questions. Tell him that you are sorry for his luck, but he’ll have to figure it out on his own. Have a great life, son.”
“I am sorry, Mr. Abel, I was being selfish. I didn’t mean to…”
“I know, Preacher… I’m pretty stressed right now. I didn’t mean to blow up like that. I’m sorry.”
We drove in silence for another mile while Reverend Malcolm moved restlessly and continuously in the driver’s seat. I felt that out of respect he was keeping his questions to himself for fear offending me. I began to understand his position and criticized myself for withholding information that may prove helpful to his interest. I broke the silence out of sympathy.
“Elder Lewis told me that Tonder is a secret of the church that no one wants to talk about. He says that some people call it evil; some people call it God. What did he teach you before you were transferred?”
“Elder Lewis was only able to teach me that Tonder is, as you say, an apparition of God simplified for the understanding of man. He said that men throughout history have directly been involved with Tonder and those men did great things in containing the spread of evil and the forces that they convey. Elder also mentioned that there are doctrines below the grounds of the monastery hidden deep within the caverns that justify the cause of Tonder as well as instructions for containment. He said that these writing are as old as time itself or at least as old as letters and alphabets.”
“That must have been what Elder Lewis wanted to show me. He led me up a path from the garden and showed me a door with some old steps leading underground. Kind of like a root cellar. That is what caused me to leave; whatever is down there, he can have it. This whole thing is way too weird for me.”
“Elder Lewis showed you were the entrance is? I was told that the monastery was built over it to keep it from being found.”
“I’m not sure what he was showing me, but he seemed pretty reluctant himself to go down there. He said that we had to see if the evil was free and I bolted out of there. Personally I think that we are all crazy. So what made you want to be a Holy Man?”
“I felt a calling to the cloth very early. I always knew that it was where I needed to be if I wanted to be effective. I guess I viewed it as the best way to serve humanity and the closest that I could get to God. Isn’t that what we all desire deep inside: Closeness with God so that we may better understand his words and revel in his divinity? At least that is how I have always felt.”
“I can’t say that I have given it that much thought. I always thought that I wanted to be a musician, ever since I was a kid. I tried different instruments, but I have no musical talent what so ever. I guess being a dad is the most rewarding career that I would ever consider. I mean, I am perfectly content that all of this craziness can go on around me, as long as I have my son and my wife. Without that, I don’t know what I would be honestly.”
“I can tell that you love your family very much, Mr. Abel. You are a lucky man, indeed. You should count your blessings each day that you have someone to love you as much as you love them. Life is much too short and far too complicated to go through without a purpose.”
“And what is your purpose, Reverend?”
“I guess that you could view my position as a gathering of souls. I touch them while I am here on this earth and when life is complete, they take their rightful places at the mercy of our Father. Did Elder Lewis talk about ways to defeat the evil that has plagued us for so many centuries now?"
“Elder Lewis told me that the evil could not be defeated by man it could only be lessened by man’s actions on earth while he is alive. I don’t know how I come into play or why he even took an interest in me. I am really tired of the whole thing if you know what I mean.”
“I understand your pain, Mr. Abel, and apologize for dragging you all the way out to the monastery. I really thought that I was helping you.”
Reverend Malcolm and I continued the drive atop the monotonous highway, filling the free time with mostly small talk and speculation while affirming nothing. The car made a right turn off of Ash Street and began its way down the country highway toward the long gravel drive that would lead to my front door. I felt a relief come upon my shoulders, rendering them lighter as the road lifted its cumbersome burden from upon us. The greenish glow from the clock embedded within the instrument panel displayed 9:29 p.m. causing the worry to again consume my mind as I knew that Lynn would be quite upset with my actions today. The car seemed as a toy while bounced lightly by the uneven bed of gravel that lined my driveway. I could see that the kitchen light was on, but the rest of the house stood dark. Reverend Malcolm stopped the car just beside the kitchen entrance and placed the gear shift in park as the engine idled quietly.
“Mr. Abel I must apologize again for causing you any false hope. I wish that I could make it up to you and give you your day back. Please keep my phone number close if you should decide that I can be of any help to you at all. I hope that you are o.k. and are able to put the incident behind you.”
“Reverend Malcolm, I am sure that under different circumstances that we could be good friends. For now I would just like to get inside and start my life over; I just want to get over all of this. It’s time to pay the piper and explain things to Lynn. In the morning, I am sure the police will be glad to hear from me as well. Maybe with time I will be seeing things clearly again and all of this will be behind me. My wife and son are waiting Preacher, thank you for trying to help.”
“I agree; I am sure that in time things will be much clearer to you. Have a good life Sutter.”
Reverend Malcolm and I shook hands and the dome light of his small car cut through the darkness surrounding us as I tossed open the door and exited the car. The gravel beneath my feet made a more prominent sound as his car pulled out of sight and echoed silently down the highway. A feeling overwhelmed my body that one can only experience after returning home from a long leave. As I turned the handle to the door leading into the kitchen the realization came upon me that the house sat immediately silent except for the quieted voices projecting from the lowered volume of the television. I maneuvered my way through the kitchen as I had done many nights before in an effort to not wake my sleeping family. I felt so much removed from the involvement of my family since in my absence I was not familiar with the routine of this day. The light from the television moved shadows across the carpet changing the colors to shades of gray and black while the dark eyed characters pictured on the set moved about as normal people. I approached the couch lightly to find my wife snuggled beneath an afghan that was knitted for her by her mother several years earlier. I leaned to kiss her check as she parted her eyes only slightly to take in my shape while a brief smile drew itself upon her face. Her voice barely audible in a whisper spoke to me through her sleep as her eyes once again closed; her hand rubbing mine.
“Sutter, you’re home. I missed you so much.”
“I know, Pink, I missed you too. Are you o.k.?”
“Yes, give me a chance to wake up so I can talk to you. Are you o.k.?”
“I’m fine. Why don’t you stay here and I will be back down to explain this crazy day to you. I got a little flipped out, but I plan on calling Dr. Borlan in the morning. I’m gonna go check on Doyle and I will be back to you. I love you, Lynn”
Lynn sat upright on the couch and lightly tossed the afghan to the opposite end still rubbing her eyes and trying to shake off the sleep resting heavy on her shoulders. She reached her arm around my neck and drew me close to her perfumed air.
“I love you too, Sutter. Hurry back down here and I will try to get awake. Doyle missed you at bedtime.”
I leaned and kissed her check once again, as she seemed relaxed and comfortable from the stressful day that I had caused to her. Lynn moved only slightly, as I knew that I would have to rouse her again when I came back down the hall from Doyle’s room. Through the hallway I moved careful to avoid the creaking floorboards beneath the carpet so that I would not disturb Doyle’s sleep. A life-size poster hung upon his door that brought me eye to eye with LeBron James, welcoming me to enter Doyle’s room. I turned the doorknob, careful again to avoid disturbing his sleep as the night-light in the hallway cast prisms onto the walls of his room; growing as the door was opened wider. His turned window blinds allowed enough moonlight to make navigation within the room easy although the room was mostly void of color due to the surrounding darkness. I leaned and placed a hand on the edge of Doyle’s bed as I steadied myself to lower my body, seating myself next to him. From my perspective he looked so much older than when I had left in the morning. He laid with his back to me while he sleeping on his side, his arms raising and lowering against his body with each breath. I placed my hand upon his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him on his ear. Doyle did not move but rolled over rubbing his eyes as his sleepy voice acknowledged my presence.
“Daddy, you are home.”
“Yes, Doyle, Daddy is home. I’m sorry that I did not get to tuck you in like I promised.”
“It’s o.k. Daddy. I love you. Mommy said you would be here.”
“I love you too, son. Stop rubbing your eyes so hard. You will hurt yourself.”
“I’m sleepy, Daddy, I just wanna sleep.”
“You can sleep Doyle but stop rubbing your eyes so hard.”
“Eyes itch, Daddy, I can’t help it.”
“Doyle, don’t rub them. If you’ve got something in them you will just hurt them.”
I extended my hand to turn on the light perched upon the nightstand, clicking the switch as an explosion and filling the room with brightness that forced my eyes to adjust. Upon focusing, terror overwhelmed me as my heart seemingly dropped out of my chest, leaving a void that would never again be filled. My son was marked with the hideous atrocity of oozing blackness from the hollowed sockets in which his glorious eyes once sat. He continued to rub at them as I wept in agony, throwing myself across his body and embracing him severely. I pulled his face tightly against my ear and pleaded with God to answer why he had done this to me while the smoked blackness engulfed my face searching my aura; feeling my soul. Doyle begged mercilessly for me to explain this moment to him as fear trembled within his tiny voice.
“Daddy, what is wrong?”
“Why! Not my boy, not my son! You bastards, why! God, why?”
“Mommy, help me!”
“Not my son! Not my son! I’m gonna fix it, Doyle, Daddy’s gonna fix it and make it all better! I promise you will be alright, I promise, don’t you worry!”
Lynn’s footsteps barreled down the shallow hallway in a great rush throwing open the bedroom door and grabbing me by the shoulder. She pulled at me with all of her might while she screamed into my face as I now lay separated in the open doorway.
“Sutter what is wrong with you, you’re smothering him! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Lynn he’s marked! He’s marked with the evil! I’ve got to save him! They got to him somehow!”
“Stop it, Sutter! Get out of this house before I call the police! You are not safe to be here so get out!”
“Lynn you do not understand, he is marked for evil…”
“Sutter, no more. You are scaring us and so help me I will call the police if you do not leave. I am calling Dr. Borlan and telling him that you are checking into the emergency room. You are not well, Sutter get out!”
“Lynn it is the way that they…”
“Get out now!”
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