TONDER Chapter 18

The cave air infected our noses with staleness and must, reminding me of the wet smell of dirt after a spring rain. The temperature seemed to even to a tolerable temperature cooling to the constant ground temperature and providing relief of the summer heat. We had placed ourselves in a single file line as the passage had narrowed restricting our method of moving abreast and placing Elder Lewis in front while Reverend Malcolm maintained the rear. Elder Lewis moved surprising well, giving me the impression that he was not making this journey for the first time although still cautiously placing each step upon the earthen floor. Speaking in echoed whispers Reverend Malcolm began from the back of the line in a breathy cadence.
 

“Mr. Abel, I am so glad that you have come back. I feared that we would not meet again and that this gift you possess might possibly be wasted. Can you tell me…am I marked?” 

“Reverend Malcolm, Mr. Abel is not here for your amusement nor is he a freak on display at a circus sideshow. He is here to fulfill the wishes of Tonder whatever they may be or dispel the myth. I will advise you to open your mind and close your thoughts.” 

“It’s o.k., Elder Lewis I am not offended by Reverend Malcolm asking questions. Pastor, I can tell you that you are not marked and I would venture to say that you will not be marked. I have yet to see a man of the cloth marked except for a few of those television evangelists. I am going to assume that evil fears a man of the cloth; it would only make sense.” 

Reverend Malcolm’s words were quick and confident as his voice raised above a whisper and reverberated throughout the caverns ahead. 

“Don’t be so quick to assume the principles that you speak of, Mr. Abel. I feel that a man of the cloth is as susceptible to evil as any man; am I correct Elder Lewis?” 

“Reverend Malcolm, I have been a servant of God for most of my long life and I believe that a true man of clergy…” 

Reverend Malcolm spoke loudly and sarcastically as he halted in the wet mudded chasm. 

“Save your words old man. You know what I am talking about.” 

I stood confused as my heart rate increased. I turned to face Reverend Malcolm in question of his accusation. 

“Reverend Malcolm, I would also like to know what you are talking about; so why don’t you…?”

“He knows what is going on, Mr. Abel. Ask him! How else would he be able to lead us through this cave unless he knew that he could keep us here? The only way that he could do that is by controlling the evil around us. Take a look around you Mr. Abel and see where our Elder Lewis; your Father White has led us!” 

Together we stood each on his own defense against the other as we posed within this widened opening of the deep cave, ours eyes widened as Elder Lewis appeared unaffected by the ranting of Reverend Malcolm. The old man held tightly to the lantern as he wobbled to balance himself within the flickering orange glow. Our torsos and above were all that were revealed to the other as the light seemed to cut off at our waists leaving us wading in darkness.

“Reverend Malcolm, your accusations reflect no merit upon me. I have led Mr. Abel into this cave to teach him of what it is that he possesses and what possesses him. You have chosen to come along by free will and may exit at your leisure.”

“Yes, you would like for me to go, wouldn’t you old man? You do not know Tonder! You only know of evil which is why you have taken the form that you assume now! I came along to protect Mr. Abel from you as I have known about you for some time! Mr. Abel, take the lantern from Elder Lewis and you will see!”

“Reverend Malcolm, you are making a dreadful mistake. Mr. Abel, do not be fooled by the deceit of evil as it wears many masks and many faces. Listen with your soul and it will guide you. Now gentlemen we seem to be in a predicament.”

Reverend Malcolm shouted toward me without taking his glaring stance away from the old man.

“Mr. Abel, take the lantern from Elder Lewis and do it now!”

Turning to the old man, I extended an upward palm and spoke calmly and evenly.

“You’d better just do as he says Elder Lewis. You did seem awful anxious to get me into this cave and you do know a lot about Tonder that you haven’t told me. So, I’ll be taking your lantern now.”

“As you wish Mr. Abel…may you soon find that of which you are looking.”

I reached out into the center of the light to accept the lantern form the trembling extended arm of the old man while he made no effort to neither combat me nor protest the accusations. He simply stood before us expressionless as if awaiting a fate that was expected to be bestowed upon him by his accusers. Reverend Malcolm’s cynical commentary remained directed to the old man.

“Let’s go, Mr. Abel, and leave this demon to his fate but we must move quickly as the evil around us is growing stronger by the moment.”

“Mr. Abel, I assure you that I am not the demon in your presence as Reverend Malcolm suggests. Question our accuser and the answer shall present itself, but act quickly as he is correct; the evil is awake and around us. You must go quickly.”

My head began to spin and my chest raised and fell with the rapid breaths of anxious anticipation.

“Shut up, both of you! Maybe you’re both evil! Maybe we are all evil; I don’t know! I just want out of here now!”

Reverend Malcolm’s voice lowered into a dronish whisper.

“Mr. Abel… your lantern. Hold your lantern in the direction that we came…there is something there.”

As instructed, I raised the lantern to cast light upon the cave wall behind me. As if embedded or possibly growing out of the orange rock wall a small demon-like creature sat perched as a bird within a recess of rock. Judging from his legs that folded under him should they be fully extended may present him as no more than four feet tall. He sat imposed; chameleon-like and blended such that it was difficult to tell where the creature stopped and the wall began. Its feet gripped to the earthen ledge that supported it into bird-like talons sharpened at the ends. I could only make out three toes upon each foot of the beast with its human like appendages as well as what seemed three elongated fingers with similar hooked claws. The monstrosity of its deformed yet sculpted face encased blackened eyes which reflected the light as a polished marbles within their depths. The beast resented the light. It covered its face as the lantern pierced the darkness, making its body flat against the cave wall and rendering it virtually invisible save for the rounded contours of it body. Spiked teeth gnashed, sounding as they were coated with sand, each time that the light seemingly threatened the creature. I stood trembling before the beast as it pressed it body further into the cave wall desperately avoiding the light. My attention was locked on the demonic creatures until Elder Lewis griped my sleeve tightly.

“Mr. Abel, you must move quickly out of the cave. The evil is awake and your time is short. Move quickly!”

“Do you see, Mr. Abel? The old man is one with the beasts; that is why he lured us down here to your death! They are all around us!”

A mild hissing began to reverberate upon the air as the dynamic filled my ears, growing louder and more random. I circled slowly while holding the lantern straight in front of my body to find that the walls were covered with multiple perched creatures, each clinging to the deep recesses of the cavern walls. The reaction was consistent with each; as the light approached each, it tried to avoid it yet once dark the demons seemed to grow out of the rocks. Still circling with the lantern protruded as a weapon, my trembling voice ricocheted from the recesses.

“Elder Lewis…Father White…, what do I do?”

Elder Lewis maintained a calmed and lowered volume while looking directly at me.

“Mr. Abel, you must leave immediately.”

My shouting to Elder Lewis was left unanswered as I swung the lantern into the direction that I remembered him last to find his bloodied body lying on the floor being picked at by the red stained talons of three demons that had overtaken him easily. They scattered back to their respective holes as the light broke their feast leaving the body of Elder Lewis abandoned to the cave floor. I lurched in the direction of the old man’s corpse dropping to my knees.

“Elder Lewis!”

Reverend Malcolm spoke excitedly and rushed. His voice was salty.

“Be careful and don’t be deceived, Mr. Abel, he is fooling you to draw you in! Move away from him and let’s get out of here!”

Backing up, a pain raced from my lower leg causing me to spin while shining the light in the direction of the pain. One of the beasts ran from my feet as it hissed and withdrew into the darkness leaving a puncture wound into my calf. Blood raced warmly down into my shoe as Reverend Malcolm and I were pushed closer together by the enclosing demons shortening their distances as darkness encased them and retreating as the light halted their advance. We found ourselves standing over the now mangled body of Elder Lewis as I swung the lantern crazily toward the swift-footed demons.

“Reverend Malcolm, what do we do?”

“You are the chosen one, Mr. Abel, do something!”

Within my mind a voice spoke to me. It was a familiar voice from my childhood and from recent dreams. It spoke to me in the same whispered, broken dialogue that had haunted me; urging me, coaxing me.

“Wake up Chaser, much to do…”

“Are you…are you, Tonder?”

“Tonder, yes. Busy, Chaser. Want life; listen. Good, good Chaser. Feed evil good. Feed it, Chaser. Tonder, yes.”

“I don’t understand! What do I do?”

“Who are you talking to, Mr. Abel? Please get us out of here!”

The voice continued to me yet unheard by Reverend Malcolm.

“Chaser, know! Feed evil good! Tonder, yes!”

“What do you mean, Tonder? Help us!”

“Mr. Abel, is Tonder here?”

“What does it mean? Feed evil good? What do you mean?”

The voice did not answer but turned over repeatedly in my mind as a hamster on a wheel. I tried to understand the instruction as the fear mounted with every breech of the lighted circle that Reverend Malcolm and I maintained. I looked downward at the broken, tired body of Elder Lewis; his face buried into the cold earth and white zucchetto mounted atop his head. I repeated the words.

“Feed evil good.”

I reached downward toward the zucchetto of Elder Lewis, taking it between my fingers as I balanced to maintain the squatting position I assumed while fending away the demons. The gruesome beast continued their hissing and attacking only to find themselves hurled back into the darkness by the luminance of the lighted lantern. I grasped the skull cap within my palm and inspected it quickly, again repeating.

“Feed evil good.”

I found nothing in the zucchetto as I extended my arm to lay the beanie back upon the fallen priests head. As I dropped my eyes away from the demons and onto Elder Lewis’ head, I noticed that the white beanie concealed a second zucchetto as it rested on his own head. This skull cap was fitted as the beanie covering the crown of his head except this cover seemed to be silver and metallic. I reached out to inspect the chrome zucchetto to discover that it was adhered to Elder Lewis’ skull. Nervously, I twisted the silver cover until it fell loose under my open hand. I handed Reverend Malcolm the lantern and raised the silver crown into my hand and carried it into the light. Beneath, fragments of skull and brain matter dripped onto the floor as I studied the contents. Reverend Malcolm questioned me nervously.

“Mr. Abel…what are you doing?”

“Feed evil good, Reverend Malcolm, feed evil good.”

Casting my empty hand into the open portion of the priest’s skull, I clung to the warm matter as it squeezed out through the spaces of my fingers. I raised the matter into the air and above my head and proclaimed loudly toward the demons.

“By the power of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit I compel you back from where you came!”

I tossed the brain matter into the direction of the demons causing several to turn away into the darkness of the cave and out of sight. Their hissing turned to an angered multitude of screams as if being burned alive while their oversized tongues protruded and retracted from their beastly mouths. Making no attempt at combating the onslaught, the demons cast their eyes away from me and raised their boney arms to shield their glowing eyes. Beneath their hissing I could hear them repeatedly whispering my name as if cursing me and my torrid aggression. Reaching into the grotesque cover filled with the dead priest’s brain matter; I squeezed the oozing contents within my palm before again hurling it toward the retreating evil before me. With each cast the sorrowful beasts retreated into the darkness; still whispering and taunting yet exiting my rampage. I repeated the motion again and again until the demons dissipated leaving Reverend Malcolm and me alone over the mangled body of Elder Lewis, while grey matter speckled the sleeve of my shirt and raced down my forearm. Reverend Malcolm and I stood there emotionless save for the feelings of awe that had overtaken the two of us. My actions were not those of my own as I felt guided by something larger and more powerful. Reverend Malcolm spoke to me in an almost childlike manner.

“What have you done?”

“I saved our lives don’t even….

“How did you know to do that? Was it Tonder?”

“Yes, Tonder spoke to me. Said to feed evil good and this made sense and it worked.”

“But Elder Lewis was evil, Mr. Abel!”

“I don’t get it either, but I felt that I was supposed to do it. I guess that Tonder guided me.”

“Praise be, Mr. Abel! Truly you are a child of Tonder!”

I knelt before the mangled corpse of Elder Lewis, discovering the small pyx in his open palm. I retrieved the pyx and held it to my heart before placing it in my pocket. I whispered low and inaudibly to the fallen priest.

“I am sorry, old priest. I am sorry.”

Reverend Malcolm and I left the tattered body of Elder Lewis bloodied upon the cave floor as we hurriedly retraced or steps back to the entrance of the cave constantly watching over our shoulder and prepared for further contact. We rushed out of the mouth of the cave to find ourselves engulfed by the darkness of night. The air was now thinner and more forgiving than the air within the chasms as Reverend Malcolm and I raised the beam and secured it across the door, sealing our safety. Collapsing into the night grass my body relaxed into the dew and still night as Reverend Malcolm lay next to me upon his back inhaling the night.

TONDER Chapter 17

My knuckles ached as I gripped tightly to the steering wheel that guided me through the night and along the once again unforgiving highway. The past few hours that I had driven were causing my eyes to strain to remain open as sleep weighed heavily upon my body. The urge to succumb seemed greater as most hope within me died earlier at the discovery of my cursed son. Ambition had become motivated by the catalyst of rage as I desperately searched for answers within myself, alas revealing nothing. The cigarettes that had accompanied me along this drive were causing an ache in my tender throat as I determined that each one would be the last. 

The highway sign ahead of me read Faldham Four Miles. Upon reading this, I felt my energy starting to return to my limbs. I did not know why I was going back; perhaps Elder Lewis seemed the only explanation, or perhaps the old monastery would protect me. I knew that my mind was not clear as the day had fatigued my thoughts making this moment seem many days long. I also knew that I did not want to face more tests from Dr. Borlan. Perhaps the worse news of all; Lynn did not feel safe around me. The compound seemed the logical place to start. Besides, Elder Lewis understood me and moreover believed me. In my weakened state the only other appealing option seemed to be driving the car over the embankment and ending the madness. The latter option was appealing only briefly, but at the realization of my selfishness, I carried on over the highway, searching.

The iron gates provided a backdrop for the fear that I knew existed below the grounds while I rang the entrance bell repeatedly through the window of my vehicle. A voice returned from the intercom in a tired rapidness urgently encouraging me to leave. Upon arguing that it was of dire circumstance that I see Elder Lewis, the voice disappeared and the air fell silent except for the continued buzzing of the intercom under the pressure of my finger. I removed Lynn’s phone from the dashboard holder and cradled it in my hand while searching for Reverend Malcolm’s phone number knowing that I would not be permitted entrance if not accompanied by him. I unfolded the scrap of paper that contained the number and prepared to dial the number as the grand gates swung rigidly open allowing my passage. I returned the phone to its carrier and engaged the Explorer to move forward into the courtyard before me. I continued up the cobblestone path until I reached the familiar doors where Elder Lewis had greeted me earlier that day. I twisted the key and removed it from the ignition and left the vehicle to approach the doors. I grasped the bottom ring of the enormous door knocker and struggled to raise it under my weakened hands. Before I could complete the task the door opened to once again reveal the old greeter that I had met earlier in the day. Again, he stood silent and made no attempt to speak, but possessed a harder look than I remembered; perhaps from the interruption that I had caused. He peered at me through a stone face that seemed devoid of feeling while he stepped aside to allow my entrance. As I came into the room he closed the door slowly and again disappeared around the corner as his shuffling feet echoed through the lobby.

From beyond the corner I heard the large wooden interior doors creak in a recognizable tone from my most recent visit. Elder Lewis appeared around the corner in a rhythmic gate depicting that of an aged horse burdening itself to pasture. His face appeared tired and bothered which seemed justified to me as I had left him stranded beyond the garden forcing him to make his way along the winding paths unassisted. He spoke calmly and somewhat pleasingly.

“Alas, the prodigal son returns. What is it that brings you to my door at this late hour, Mr. Abel? I would have denied you entrance if I thought that you might gain from it, but I fear that you are not keenly adept to learning new tricks are you? Eric Hoffer once said, ‘In times of rapid change, learners inherit the earth while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.’ What am I to assume of you, Mr. Abel: the learner or the learned?”

“Elder Lewis, I understand if you are upset that I turned away, but things have changed…”

“Allow me to ponder the possibilities: you are here to ask help not for the betterment of mankind but only now that you are directly affected. Am I quite accurate?”

Moving forward, I rushed upon the old man, seizing him by the throat and bracing his body against the marbled section of wall behind him. My teeth grinded together as my jaws seemingly locked at their hinges while standing nose to nose with Elder Lewis and staring deep into the fear that overshadowed his eyes. My voice lowered as gravel rose into my throat and the veins in my neck felt as they would explode at that very moment, pulsing and pounding with anger.

“Priest, so help me if you marked my boy…; so help me if I find out that you damned his soul to get me to help you…; I will kill you Priest. Make no mistake I will kill you.”

“Mr. Abel I assure you positively that I know nothing of marking your son. Please, sir you are choking me. I did nothing to your family. Mr. Abel, please…”

“What is in that cave out there, Father, and how will it help me to go down there?”

“Within the cave are answers, Mr. Abel, answers that only you can understand of Tonder, eklektos, evil, and the ways of the Chaser. Moreover, I think that you will find your sanity in the dark caverns or perhaps lessen your grip of it, I am unsure. I do know that it is necessary to go. It is my destiny and yours. I have had a dream some years ago that a young man would lead me down to the cave to my demise. I do not fully understand the dream, but I know that I had to pass so that he could live. In my dream the young man’s survival was dependent on the knowledge I possess; that which is in my head, my old mind, Mr. Abel. I am sorry if it appears that I speak in riddles, but the dream was a mystery to me also. I do know that I will not be coming back.”

“Are you sure that I am that man?”

“No, I am not. I am sure that the indications are quite compelling. Mr. Abel, if you don’t mind I would like to go to the entrance now without hesitation. I choose not to ponder the possibilities of not sojourning to the inevitable end. I am quite prepared. Won’t you please escort me down the path for the last time?”

The Elder who kept his priestly secret for many years stood before me griping his worn and tainted pyx. He gazed upon it lovingly. He revered it as a son looking to his father for guidance. Raising my elbow I offered support to Elder Lewis as we began out of the glass paned door and into the night guided only by the moonlight. It appeared that the old man was not dependent on the light to guide his path as he had walked it many time before in anticipation of this day. I believed in my mind that he had been looking forward to this for some time, for whatever reason. For my own unknown reasons I journeyed down the path with Elder Lewis in my own anticipation of my destiny. My purpose seemed that of vengeance and selfishness. I wanted my son back.

The moonlight shown onto the old wooden door of the cave entrance reminiscent of what I imagined an entrance door to the village of Sleepy Hollow. Its eerie texture seemed to project an unwelcome warning that inside was not pleasant and to turn away at this point could be forgiven in future lifetimes. The unspoken warning went unheeded as I raised the wooden crossbeam that lay horizontal to the door per the instruction of Elder Lewis.  The weight of the crossbeam used as a deadbolt pushed down upon my shoulder as I attempted to raise it to free the door to open. With a few upward jerks, the beam rose above the latch and fell to the ground with a loud thud leaving the door freely accessible.

“Mr. Abel, before we enter I want to thank you in advance for what you will do. Your soul belongs to God and you will glorify Him. Please do not lose your focus upon the correct choices; choose wisely as your decisions affect us all. This is the beginning of your story, Mr. Abel, tell it to the world and proclaim The King.”

“I do not believe that I am much more than a fool backed into a corner. I am a man that has been given no option but to fight something that he knows nothing about….”

“Your modesty is intriguing but it is not welcomed. Stand tall and confident and you shall be the victor of your enemy. There are many things that you shall learn about yourself and there are many things that you already know but will not admit. Now is the time to face your fears and determine what you are and what you will be.”

Elder Lewis stepped back allowing room so that I may open the door to the chasms below. Reaching to the inside of the entrance he removed a small rusted lantern coated with dust. I exposed the Zippo lighter from my pocket as Elder Lewis began filling the lantern from a small flask hidden within his flowing garment. I touched the flame from the Zippo onto the wick while the fire danced and crackled as the lantern burned an intense light directly into the mouth of the cave.

“Gentlemen wait!”

A voice pierced the dark from behind me causing the two of us to jump, startled from the noise. As we quickly spun in the direction of the voice, a figure appeared along the path leading to the door. The awkward outline of a curly haired man bounced hurriedly along the stones as if trying desperately to catch us.

“Gentlemen, please wait!”

“Reverend Malcolm, is that you?”

“Yes, Elder Lewis, please let me join you!”

“Reverend Malcolm, this situation does not require your presence and I would suggest that you go home to the comfort of your church.”

“No! I will not. Years ago I was stifled from learning of Tonder and I am not going to be stifled again. You can welcome me with you or I will follow anyway.”

“Mr. Abel, it appears that Reverend Malcolm will be journeying into the chasms with us. Do you object?”

“Hell no! Let him come if he wants, but I’m warning you; you get in my way and I’ll run you over, Padre. Understand?”

“I certainly do, and it’s good to see you again too, Mr. Abel. What brought you back?”

“It’s a long story and I’ll explain later. Let’s get going.”

Our party of three journeyed into the mouth of the cave as it seemed there was just enough room to stand and walk comfortably. The light from the lantern cast an undeniably eerie hue along the dampened cave giving an orange shade to the walls surrounding our troop. Our steps weighed lightly upon the wet floor as we seemed to be progressing deeper into the earth at a very gradual decline. A subtle voice began growing louder in my mind.

“Much to do, Chaser, much to do."

TONDER Chapter 16

As the miles mounted behind us like memories upon a forgetful mind, I began to relax from the experience of the day. The guilt that I felt toward Doyle and Lynn was lessened as I determined immediately that I would make up the irresponsible action to them somehow. I thought of a day away from home spent fishing with just the three of us. Far away from the blackened, weeping eyes of the sorry souls that were marked for damnation and miles from the caverns beneath the monastery that most likely held further delusions of terror and evil. My thoughts were interrupted by Reverend Malcolm as he traced his curling hair with the palm of his hand, clearing away the perspiration that had begun upon his temples.
 

“So, what did Elder Lewis teach you, Mr. Abel?” 

“I really just want to forget about it and get home to my family, if you know what I mean.” 

“Well, no offense but I had an opportunity to learn about Tonder but my teachings were cut short. I am still very curious and hoped that perhaps you could help me fill in the missing pieces, so to speak.” 

“Preacher, let me tell you about missing pieces. Take a fifteen year old boy out of his summer vacation and put him in front of the devil. Kill it and put it in a cage and let it haunt him in his adult life. Then don’t even talk about it even though he has a million questions. Tell him that you are sorry for his luck, but he’ll have to figure it out on his own. Have a great life, son.” 

“I am sorry, Mr. Abel, I was being selfish. I didn’t mean to…” 

“I know, Preacher… I’m pretty stressed right now. I didn’t mean to blow up like that. I’m sorry.” 

We drove in silence for another mile while Reverend Malcolm moved restlessly and continuously in the driver’s seat. I felt that out of respect he was keeping his questions to himself for fear offending me. I began to understand his position and criticized myself for withholding information that may prove helpful to his interest. I broke the silence out of sympathy. 

“Elder Lewis told me that Tonder is a secret of the church that no one wants to talk about. He says that some people call it evil; some people call it God. What did he teach you before you were transferred?” 

“Elder Lewis was only able to teach me that Tonder is, as you say, an apparition of God simplified for the understanding of man. He said that men throughout history have directly been involved with Tonder and those men did great things in containing the spread of evil and the forces that they convey. Elder also mentioned that there are doctrines below the grounds of the monastery hidden deep within the caverns that justify the cause of Tonder as well as instructions for containment. He said that these writing are as old as time itself or at least as old as letters and alphabets.” 

“That must have been what Elder Lewis wanted to show me. He led me up a path from the garden and showed me a door with some old steps leading underground. Kind of like a root cellar. That is what caused me to leave; whatever is down there, he can have it. This whole thing is way too weird for me.” 

“Elder Lewis showed you were the entrance is? I was told that the monastery was built over it to keep it from being found.” 

“I’m not sure what he was showing me, but he seemed pretty reluctant himself to go down there. He said that we had to see if the evil was free and I bolted out of there. Personally I think that we are all crazy. So what made you want to be a Holy Man?” 

“I felt a calling to the cloth very early. I always knew that it was where I needed to be if I wanted to be effective. I guess I viewed it as the best way to serve humanity and the closest that I could get to God. Isn’t that what we all desire deep inside: Closeness with God so that we may better understand his words and revel in his divinity? At least that is how I have always felt.” 

“I can’t say that I have given it that much thought. I always thought that I wanted to be a musician, ever since I was a kid. I tried different instruments, but I have no musical talent what so ever. I guess being a dad is the most rewarding career that I would ever consider. I mean, I am perfectly content that all of this craziness can go on around me, as long as I have my son and my wife. Without that, I don’t know what I would be honestly.” 

“I can tell that you love your family very much, Mr. Abel. You are a lucky man, indeed. You should count your blessings each day that you have someone to love you as much as you love them. Life is much too short and far too complicated to go through without a purpose.” 

“And what is your purpose, Reverend?” 

“I guess that you could view my position as a gathering of souls. I touch them while I am here on this earth and when life is complete, they take their rightful places at the mercy of our Father. Did Elder Lewis talk about ways to defeat the evil that has plagued us for so many centuries now?" 

“Elder Lewis told me that the evil could not be defeated by man it could only be lessened by man’s actions on earth while he is alive. I don’t know how I come into play or why he even took an interest in me. I am really tired of the whole thing if you know what I mean.” 

“I understand your pain, Mr. Abel, and apologize for dragging you all the way out to the monastery. I really thought that I was helping you.” 

Reverend Malcolm and I continued the drive atop the monotonous highway, filling the free time with mostly small talk and speculation while affirming nothing. The car made a right turn off of Ash Street and began its way down the country highway toward the long gravel drive that would lead to my front door. I felt a relief come upon my shoulders, rendering them lighter as the road lifted its cumbersome burden from upon us. The greenish glow from the clock embedded within the instrument panel displayed 9:29 p.m. causing the worry to again consume my mind as I knew that Lynn would be quite upset with my actions today. The car seemed as a toy while bounced lightly by the uneven bed of gravel that lined my driveway. I could see that the kitchen light was on, but the rest of the house stood dark. Reverend Malcolm stopped the car just beside the kitchen entrance and placed the gear shift in park as the engine idled quietly. 

“Mr. Abel I must apologize again for causing you any false hope. I wish that I could make it up to you and give you your day back. Please keep my phone number close if you should decide that I can be of any help to you at all. I hope that you are o.k. and are able to put the incident behind you.” 

“Reverend Malcolm, I am sure that under different circumstances that we could be good friends. For now I would just like to get inside and start my life over; I just want to get over all of this. It’s time to pay the piper and explain things to Lynn. In the morning, I am sure the police will be glad to hear from me as well. Maybe with time I will be seeing things clearly again and all of this will be behind me. My wife and son are waiting Preacher, thank you for trying to help.” 

“I agree; I am sure that in time things will be much clearer to you. Have a good life Sutter.” 

Reverend Malcolm and I shook hands and the dome light of his small car cut through the darkness surrounding us as I tossed open the door and exited the car. The gravel beneath my feet made a more prominent sound as his car pulled out of sight and echoed silently down the highway. A feeling overwhelmed my body that one can only experience after returning home from a long leave. As I turned the handle to the door leading into the kitchen the realization came upon me that the house sat immediately silent except for the quieted voices projecting from the lowered volume of the television. I maneuvered my way through the kitchen as I had done many nights before in an effort to not wake my sleeping family. I felt so much removed from the involvement of my family since in my absence I was not familiar with the routine of this day. The light from the television moved shadows across the carpet changing the colors to shades of gray and black while the dark eyed characters pictured on the set moved about as normal people. I approached the couch lightly to find my wife snuggled beneath an afghan that was knitted for her by her mother several years earlier. I leaned to kiss her check as she parted her eyes only slightly to take in my shape while a brief smile drew itself upon her face. Her voice barely audible in a whisper spoke to me through her sleep as her eyes once again closed; her hand rubbing mine. 

“Sutter, you’re home. I missed you so much.” 

“I know, Pink, I missed you too. Are you o.k.?” 

“Yes, give me a chance to wake up so I can talk to you. Are you o.k.?”

“I’m fine. Why don’t you stay here and I will be back down to explain this crazy day to you. I got a little flipped out, but I plan on calling Dr. Borlan in the morning. I’m gonna go check on Doyle and I will be back to you. I love you, Lynn” 

Lynn sat upright on the couch and lightly tossed the afghan to the opposite end still rubbing her eyes and trying to shake off the sleep resting heavy on her shoulders. She reached her arm around my neck and drew me close to her perfumed air. 

“I love you too, Sutter. Hurry back down here and I will try to get awake. Doyle missed you at bedtime.” 

I leaned and kissed her check once again, as she seemed relaxed and comfortable from the stressful day that I had caused to her. Lynn moved only slightly, as I knew that I would have to rouse her again when I came back down the hall from Doyle’s room. Through the hallway I moved careful to avoid the creaking floorboards beneath the carpet so that I would not disturb Doyle’s sleep. A life-size poster hung upon his door that brought me eye to eye with LeBron James, welcoming me to enter Doyle’s room. I turned the doorknob, careful again to avoid disturbing his sleep as the night-light in the hallway cast prisms onto the walls of his room; growing as the door was opened wider. His turned window blinds allowed enough moonlight to make navigation within the room easy although the room was mostly void of color due to the surrounding darkness. I leaned and placed a hand on the edge of Doyle’s bed as I steadied myself to lower my body, seating myself next to him. From my perspective he looked so much older than when I had left in the morning. He laid with his back to me while he sleeping on his side, his arms raising and lowering against his body with each breath. I placed my hand upon his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him on his ear. Doyle did not move but rolled over rubbing his eyes as his sleepy voice acknowledged my presence. 

“Daddy, you are home.” 

“Yes, Doyle, Daddy is home. I’m sorry that I did not get to tuck you in like I promised.” 

“It’s o.k. Daddy. I love you. Mommy said you would be here.” 

“I love you too, son. Stop rubbing your eyes so hard. You will hurt yourself.” 

“I’m sleepy, Daddy, I just wanna sleep.” 

“You can sleep Doyle but stop rubbing your eyes so hard.” 

“Eyes itch, Daddy, I can’t help it.” 

“Doyle, don’t rub them. If you’ve got something in them you will just hurt them.” 

I extended my hand to turn on the light perched upon the nightstand, clicking the switch as an explosion and filling the room with brightness that forced my eyes to adjust. Upon focusing, terror overwhelmed me as my heart seemingly dropped out of my chest, leaving a void that would never again be filled. My son was marked with the hideous atrocity of oozing blackness from the hollowed sockets in which his glorious eyes once sat. He continued to rub at them as I wept in agony, throwing myself across his body and embracing him severely. I pulled his face tightly against my ear and pleaded with God to answer why he had done this to me while the smoked blackness engulfed my face searching my aura; feeling my soul. Doyle begged mercilessly for me to explain this moment to him as fear trembled within his tiny voice. 

“Daddy, what is wrong?” 

“Why! Not my boy, not my son! You bastards, why! God, why?” 

“Mommy, help me!”

“Not my son! Not my son! I’m gonna fix it, Doyle, Daddy’s gonna fix it and make it all better! I promise you will be alright, I promise, don’t you worry!” 

Lynn’s footsteps barreled down the shallow hallway in a great rush throwing open the bedroom door and grabbing me by the shoulder. She pulled at me with all of her might while she screamed into my face as I now lay separated in the open doorway. 

“Sutter what is wrong with you, you’re smothering him! What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Lynn he’s marked! He’s marked with the evil! I’ve got to save him! They got to him somehow!” 

“Stop it, Sutter! Get out of this house before I call the police! You are not safe to be here so get out!” 

“Lynn you do not understand, he is marked for evil…” 

“Sutter, no more. You are scaring us and so help me I will call the police if you do not leave. I am calling Dr. Borlan and telling him that you are checking into the emergency room. You are not well, Sutter get out!” 

“Lynn it is the way that they…” 

“Get out now!”

Lynn’s voice split the darkness and echoed through the trees of our yard before lowering to pierce my heart. I argued not with her but stared instead at Doyle’s blackened sockets as he stood fearful behind his mother, her arm draped across his shoulder while the stench of evil consumed them making them impossible to see. I backed out of the room as a man shot in the stomach, the tears streaming down my face and dropping down upon my collar. They looked at me as if they did not know me; as a stranger to my family and again I felt removed at my own hand. I ran down the hall and into the garage taking Lynn’s keys to her Explorer on my way. I started the vehicle, pushing the tears to the side of my face and I exited the driveway. The night swallowed me whole as a shark might a small fish not considering the fish, but protecting its own existence.

TONDER Chapter 15

A multi-paneled glass door provided a side exit out of the ornate room. Elder Lewis and I journeyed at a slowed pace as if I were escorting him to a special event while he clung weakly to my bent elbow for support. The garden beyond the cold confining interior of the cherry-walled study seemed to capture every last ray of the evening sun injecting it into the beauty of the carefully placed flowers growing along the cobblestone walk way. The priest’s voice seemed much smaller and weaker in this open vastness of beauty and lavish serenity being made less significant by the slight shuffling of his shoe heels against the stones beneath them. The sunlight upon his elder face gave definition to the many wrinkles that were drawn upon his face by the suggestion of a thousand fine and sharpened pencil strokes. 

“Mr. Abel, the gentlemen in this compound take much great pride in their daily work on our beautiful gardens. They work unselfishly to reflect God’s beauty through his gift of botany only to see them destroyed under the weight of the unforgiving winters. The winters bring extreme winds and cumbersome snowfalls that bury them beneath, most times breaking the evergreens and diminishing the hard work that toiled over them from spring to fall. It is an unforgiving cycle of life to say the very least.” 

“I can tell that a lot goes into all of this. My wife would love to see it. What is all this anyway? It seems like quite a lot of work has gone into this…compound. Is that what you called this? A compound?” 

“You must bring Mrs. Abel soon to witness this beauty; the season is short indeed. I fear that the coming months will be as hard on them as past winters have proven. I would be happy to show her around but I am afraid that my sojourns through the garden have become less frequent than years past. My age has made the beauty of this garden more of a chore then an enjoyment.” 

The old man seemed to peer back towards the buildings as we ventured farther away and more removed to the countryside. He assumed an almost paranoid position as if someone may overhear our discussion. Once confident that we had journeyed far enough from the buildings he seemed to relax and talk freely, pausing atop the cobblestone pathway and turning to face me. 

“Mr. Abel, I believe that I can trust in you. I believe that you are the one who I have been expecting for a very long many years. This compound was once a monastery quite some time ago before the Franciscan monks who lived here and built this beautiful area were forced out. Now, you will not find that in your history books, Mr. Abel, nor will any here repeat these words; but, true is the plight of the Franciscan gentlemen who were so dedicated to this beautiful and holy place. When these…men of reverence, these elders of the People’s Church sensed the growing disturbance in this area, their power, money, and greed established this…this compound where once God’s soldiers prayed, lived, and glorified him. 

I was an older priest who found solace from the throes of war within these hills and hallowed halls, serving and praying; praying and waiting. You see, war, Mr. Abel, will bend men. It will force decisions. It will etch lines on a man’s soul with an indelible mark. War changes hearts and chases away childhood as the devil would so quickly shun prayer. So often I have damned the war that hardened the boy who would become my own father. I survived war as but at the loss of my own identity. Even a Catholic priest in war will discover himself in a way that he would not in a chapel in the woods. The young man who gave his life for me was named Bertrand Lewis and he was part of a culture called The People’s Church. They were not well known, as they are now, but growing in popularity among the wealthy. My name…my real name is Jessup White…Father Jessup White. Although I lived, I was changed. I heard Tonder speaking to me as the helicopter landed and my boots touched ground. Lewis heard it too and together we followed the instructions it gave us as it promised we would live a do his bidding; keeping evil at bay. Lewis was exalted, proclaiming that God would protect us and nothing could harm us. I grabbed him by the sleeve and started toward the tree line and out of the open clearing. He spun my body and slammed me to the ground. He placed his face in mine and said, ‘It’s Tonder, God is with us,’ then he turned and ran back in the direction we were headed. He ran alone as I watched him, still on my back. 

When the land mine detonated, I watched as Bertrand Lewis’ body disintegrated into a pink haze that dissipated into the blast. I felt as though my legs were welded to the ground and my lungs filled with lead. Thirty seconds earlier, I was leading Lewis to that very place where the mine awaited. He saved me by unknowingly throwing me to the ground and leaving me there. His dog tags were all that I found and exchanged them with my own, putting myself through the duration of the war as a grunt and mourning the death of my past identity of Father Jessup White. God had betrayed me. Tonder mislead me. So, throughout these years I have shunned the voice of Tonder and followed its strength to this location.” 

“So, Elder Lewis is not your name – it’s Father White?” 

“Correct, Mr. Abel, war makes for secrets of the heart and soul. I am no exception. I live here in anonymity, listening to the taunts and demands of Tonder, ignoring the instruction and searching for truth. I also pray that my promised demise is that of holiness and not evil as I have come to terms with the certainty regardless of my own uncertainty. As every priest will tell you, Mr. Abel, he has an indelible mark on his soul. Once ordained he is always a priest. I accept that and I am blessed by the Lord in that aspect in spite of my sins of omission.” 

The old man reached deep into an inside pocket of his robe and revealed a small, round, golden container in the palm of his hand. The metal container was scratched and dented, aged and worn. The hinged lid questionably attached yet affixed. He cupped the container in his open palm and smiled as he gazed upon it lovingly. He raised his squinted eyes toward me and continued. 

“As a priest, Mr. Abel, I have a dedication to the Blessed Sacrament; to the Body of Christ. My adoration has continued since my ordination as a young man. Daily, I dedicate silent prayer in secrecy and in adoration of the Body of Christ. On the battlefield, and for my life, I carried His body with me. Contained in this small pyx for this many years is the Blessed Sacrament; the Body of Christ. This small portion of consecrated host is my connection to my priestly obligation; locked away in secret as I search to discover Tonder. My protection and strength is the Blessed Body of Christ. Corpus Christi; our salvation.” 

“Elder Lewis, I mean, Father White; I am quite confused. What is the significance of Tonder? Is this God? As a priest, don’t you have an obligation to follow the word of God and His direction? I mean, I was raised Catholic and did my time in adoration; even went to confession and communion regularly. Where does Tonder come into all of this?” 

“Yes, yes Tonder; the reason for your visit Mr. Abel, indeed. You see as early as the recorded history of the church, man has written of his exchanges with a supreme force; often through dialogue, sometimes through physical incantation. This force has always introduced itself as Tonder to man stating a purpose through trying times in extreme contact with evil. Man has always seemed to triumph over evil with Tonder’s aide, pushing it into a more submissive state but never entirely defeating the evil. Many believe that man cannot defeat evil but can only contain it until a final battle between good and evil will raise the forces of both sides; good and evil mind you, where they will battle for the ultimate reward: the reward of man.” 

“Balsavoy told me that it would take mortals to fight the final battle.” 

“Oh no, no, quite the contrary. Men will know nothing of the battle. The wars of man have continued throughout history and from the dawn of time. We seem to believe as humans that we see all and know all in our arrogance slating a dominion over all that we survey. The battles take place within our mind, every day, and are conducive to the decisions that we make at every given moment. You may view it as a chess game of our souls, Mr. Abel. Give evil strength and goodness will be defeated through your decisions.” 

“And, Tonder comes into play how?” 

“Evil is deception and deception is human. Man has always been blessed with free will from a loving God. Evil can tempt man but nothing more. Man’s free will helps him to decide on which side of the playing field he takes his stand. Evil forces; the devil if you will, does not play a fair game as history has proven. Evil walks among each of us every day. It is with us in our schools, our government, in our churches, and at our children’s daycare. It waits and it watches for flaws in our thoughts and actions until determining who are destined to be marked and who is too strong. Tonder has come to men who have proven strong enough to stand against the evil among us and has aided them in containing it. Only containing it mind you, this evil cannot die; at our hand. Tonder has given men instruction on containment through daily prayer that keeps it weakened and tolerable, but if neglected the evil strengthens and can escape to continue twisting man’s thoughts and de-sensitizing his feelings until the unacceptable becomes acceptable. Some believe that Tonder is deception; that the devil himself deceives men to follow him; to trust him as God. A de-sensitized heart is prone to deceit; and oh how he deceives. ” 

“If Tonder is God, then why doesn’t Tonder just defeat the evil through man?” 

“Man’s free will allows the evil to exist and alas thrive. Man could not survive without evil; it has become his way of life. As we witness daily in our schools and government with the separation of religion as it has been deemed a violation of someone rights. This scenario did not exist in my youth, Mr. Abel, but evil has gained much strength through influential people starting a slow, downward spiral of man’s morals. Subsequently, evil has grown very strong. Your friend mentioned to you that humans would fight the battle. He is correct in that they are fighting the battle and are winning a victory for evil. If man gave goodness the strength that it has given to evil, it would be a progressively more tolerable world until eventually life would be as was mentioned in the beginning of man’s existence: paradise.” 

“How is the evil escaping now any different than past history? Has it never escaped containment before?” 

“Evil has escaped containment in the past and has been successfully captured and weakened by Chasers such as yourself and your father and once again held by those who keep the word; such as your Balsavoy. Never before has one been given eklektos, but Tonder has promised that eklektos would be bestowed upon a single mortal in our time. You have been chosen as that mortal, Mr. Abel. To heighten your anxiety you have also been given a gift of sight by being the eklektos.” 

“And could you please define this eklektos?” 

“Eklektos is a blessing upon a soul protecting the person from being marked. It is Latin for ‘chosen’. This is regardless of what you may do to damn your soul, Mr. Abel.” 

“Tell me why I have not learned of Tonder in church. I mean I grew up in a Catholic church and nothing was ever mentioned before.” 

“Tonder is not acknowledged by the church, Mr. Abel. There are those that say man is being misled and Tonder is not the voice of God, but is instead the deception of evil. This has caused a separation within the churches many years ago and before my time. Those who choose to deem Tonder as the voice of God justify such that Tonder has protected man when confronted with evil; such is the position of the People’s Church. Also, Tonder has told man that it is indeed God and will protect him come what may. The other side argues that God would not assume a false identity as he is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end; the great I AM. They plead that man is being guided by evil as it gains strength for the final battle; quite a lucrative argument. As each side raises their voices, the churches push the topic beneath a large rug and ask that we speak of it not. That is the very reason that young Reverend Malcolm was transferred from my teaching. My superiors received word that I had spoken to him of Tonder and immediately he was removed from my supervision. I must also add that this very monastery was built on this sight as a strategic location. Beneath these grounds are centuries old chasms that have existed beyond the written records of man. They are known to contain dormant evil that the church cannot begin to interpret. The bones of monks over the years have been buried beneath hoping to purify the ground as well as the daily prayer recited within these walls.” 

Elder Lewis walked with me along the winding paths while the sun slowly began to reach beneath the horizon. I listened intently as his explanations filled in the holes of my history. The path that we continued upon lead to a distant door recessed within the earth resembling a root cellar as it was preceded by limestone steps of great mass and size. Cobwebs kissed my forehead as we descended the steps and approached the doorway. 

“Mr. Abel, if what you have told me is correct than not only has the evil escaped from Balsavoy’s containment, but all of the contained evil has been freed signifying the beginning of the final battle. You must be strong in your faith and do not falter. I am relying on you, sir, as we enter this chasm below. May God bless you, Mr. Abel.” 

“Wait a minute, Elder Lewis. What are you telling me? That I follow you into a cave just to see if the evil is awake? I can tell you first hand that I know it is, I looked in the eyes and it spoke to me! You’ve got to fix it yourself because I cannot go down there. I think that this whole thing is just something in my mind; maybe even a dream, I don’t know! But I do know this, after what I have been through I am ready to call it quits. You are the priest so if there is evil to deal with then you deal with it.” 

“Mr. Abel, you possess nothing uncommon from that of ordinary man in your free will, but let me advise you that you also have a purpose. Choose to ignore that purpose and it will find you, sir; it will find you with a prejudice visited upon you that could make it impossible to avoid. Exercise your free will as you see that you must as clearly the choice is yours. I caution you that your decisions will not weigh lightly on those around you. Use extreme caution, Mr. Abel, not to damn those around you in order to protect your own self. Remember what we are told by Matthew: ‘The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!’ Leave if you must, Mr. Abel.” 

I replied nothing to the old priest as I abruptly turned and began my way along the path leaving Elder Lewis behind. My mind was as a torment of guilt and selfishness as I became entranced by the notion of self-preservation and survival. I knew that I did not want to enter through the door without knowing what awaited me beyond it. I pondered as a child might on Christmas morning in anticipation of his gifts. I pondered this selfish notion loudly in my conscious without slowing my pace through the garden and into the meeting room where I was introduced to Elder Lewis. I pulled the mighty oak door open as it glided effortlessly upon its hinges exposing a waiting Reverend Malcolm beyond and seated in a rigid chair. He rose to greet me as if hungry to learn of my findings from Elder Lewis. 

“Mr. Abel, how was your visit?” 

“Reverend Malcolm, I need you to drive me home now.” 

“But, Mr. Abel was Elder Lewis not Abel to help you? What about the demon and Tonder?” 

“With all due respect Preacher, I am getting out of all of this. I should be home with my wife and son enjoying the evenings as I always have. You guys can fight this battle. You both seem more qualified than me. Please drive me home.” 

“As you wish, but I think that you should reconsider.” 

“Reverend Malcolm, you can drive me home or I will start walking, it’s up to you.” 

“Of course I will drive you, Mr. Abel. I am very sorry if I have offended you.”

Reverend Malcolm led me to his car parked in front of the entrance and we silently began our journey to my home. I am sure that I had projected much hatred in my inflections toward Reverend Malcolm, but he made no indication of offense. The sun had settled beyond the trees before we entered the highway through the large gates that contained us. I spoke not to Reverend Malcolm but to myself silently as rational thought returned to the forefront of my conscious. What had I done to my family? Why was my mind troubled with thoughts of evil when clearly I am surrounded daily by goodness and light?  I missed Lynn and Doyle terribly, and felt that I must pay them back for deserting them as I had. Onward the road buried itself beneath the rubber tires as the car hood absorbed the reflections of the orange center lines before us. The monotonous drone of the tires upon the road seemed adequate conversation for the journey homeward.